PWD: When Negligence Stole a Childhood: A Parent’s Painful Journey

By Oluwaseyi Oluwabiyi

(This article is based on a true story. Names and certain details have been altered to protect the privacy of those involved.)

When Tolu and Ade welcomed their first child, they were filled with hope and excitement. But their joy quickly turned into heartbreak when medical negligence during delivery caused their daughter to develop cerebral palsy. What followed was a six-year journey of sacrifice, frustration, and resilience that forever changed their family.

The experience shook their faith in the Nigerian healthcare system, forcing them to seek treatment abroad and make unimaginable sacrifices to provide their child with the care she needed. Today, they share their story to support others facing similar struggles and call for accountability and systemic change.

A Shattered Dream

Tolu recalls the day her baby was born with a mix of pain and anger. “It was a long labor, something felt off and I kept asking for help, but the doctor dismissed my concerns,” she says. The delay in intervention resulted in oxygen deprivation, and the diagnosis of cerebral palsy came weeks later.

“We didn’t understand what it meant at first,” Ade explains. “But as the weeks turned into months, we realized how drastically our lives were going to change.”

The couple was devastated not just by the diagnosis, but by the knowledge that their child’s condition was preventable. “Knowing that a doctor’s negligence altered her life forever broke something in us,” Tolu admits.

The Search for Better Care

Determined to give their child a fighting chance, Tolu and Ade traveled abroad in search of better medical care, staying there for nearly eight months. The move came with difficult decisions. Ade, a promising professional in his field, had to sacrifice his career to stay back and care for their daughter, while Tolu returned to Nigeria to continue working and support the family financially.

“It was the hardest decision we’ve ever had to make,” Ade shares. “I had to set aside my ambitions and focus entirely on her care. But I knew it was what she needed.”

The separation tested their marriage and their resolve. “Being apart from my family and working in Nigeria while they were abroad was exhausting,” Tolu says. “But we didn’t have a choice. We couldn’t both leave work, and we needed the money to afford her treatments.”

Everyday Challenges

Caring for their daughter was more than a full-time job. She couldn’t walk and had to be carried everywhere. She couldn’t control her bowel movements and had to be fed through a tube inserted into her stomach.

“We hired caregivers because we needed the help, but it came with its own problems,” Ade says. “Some of them were rude and careless, and we had to tread carefully so they wouldn’t leave or maltreat our daughter in our absence. It was exhausting to constantly manage both their behavior and our child’s care.”

The financial burden was overwhelming, but the emotional toll was even heavier. “There were days I couldn’t stop crying,” Tolu confesses. “I felt like I had failed her, even though deep down I knew it wasn’t my fault.”

A Life Too Short

Their daughter lived for six years before complications from her condition led to her passing. “She was our light, even in the darkest moments,” Ade says. “Losing her felt like losing a part of ourselves.”

The grief was compounded by anger at the system that had failed them. “She didn’t have to go through all that suffering,” Tolu says. “We trusted the doctor, and he let us down and to think that he was my gynecologist all through the pregnancy. That’s something I’ll never forget.”

Despite their pain, the couple has found ways to honor their daughter’s memory by sharing their story and supporting others.

What They Want Others to Know

When asked what advice they would give to parents in similar situations, Tolu and Ade share the lessons they learned through their journey:

1. Speak Up Early

“If something feels off, don’t hesitate to speak up and demand better care,” Tolu says. “Don’t let anyone dismiss your concerns.”

2. Find a Support Network

“You can’t do it alone,” Ade adds. “Lean on friends, family, or even support groups. Having someone to talk to makes a difference.”

3. Focus on the Love

“It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the challenges,” Tolu says. “But don’t lose sight of the love you have for your child. That’s what will keep you going.”

4. Hold the System Accountable

“The healthcare system must do better,” Ade emphasizes. “Doctors need to be trained and retrained, and there should be consequences for negligence.”

The Broader Conversation

Across Nigeria, countless families are grappling with the fallout of preventable medical errors. Their experience highlights the urgent need for reforms in the healthcare system, not just for better practices, but for accountability and support for affected families.

“Her life mattered,” Tolu says. “And if sharing her story can spark change, then her legacy will live on.”